How to test out an airplane, look cool, and set up a classic joke. Plus: our toilet of the week, and the beginning and end of our new segment, "Nautical Notes." 

How to smuggle drugs across the border (or stop a drug smuggler, if that's more your thing), become a standup comedian, and root for your favorite team. Plus: our toilet of the week! 

Just a quick show this week as we're on the road, but we will tell you how to charge your phone when you forget your power adapter, and we talk to author Lee Child. He writes the Jack Reacher books, about a guy who pretty much knows how to do everything. Plus: your toilet of the week! 

How to face down a heckler, make a movie with a cheetah, and get off the phone. Plus: our first international Toilet of the Week! 

How to always win the wishbone pull, and navigate Thanksgiving family drama. Plus: Paula Deen on turkey, and we talk pumpkin pie with James Iha of the Smashing Pumpkins. Seriously. 

How to get a bumper sticker off your car, find a suitable substitute during a cockroach shortage (this is something that happens, apparently), and read a woman’s t-shirt without looking like a creep. Plus, Carl Bernstein, of Woodward and Bernstein, helps us put a name on the Petraeus Scandal. 

How to stop a hurricane and win every single swing state. Plus the lovely Kristin Chenoweth helps you sing a showtune, with assistance from another very special guest. 

A look inside the Apple Store Employee Manual, how to enjoy the World Series if you’re like Ian and you don’t know a thing about baseball, and how to make a good Halloween costume.

How to always remember your lunch, steal a million dollar painting, hang out with a farmer, and more. Plus: our Toilet of the Week.

How to eat a cupcake, make s’mores properly, and maybe, just maybe, help your plants grow. Plus, our Toilet Of The Week! 

How to dress for the office, keep coffee off your pants, and take over the mic at a volleyball game. Plus: why you always lose at crane games. 

This week we learn how to care for a new mustache, pick a pocket square and recover from an embarrassing video.

How to lie about your secret mission and talk about strikes. Plus info about the How To meetup in Atlanta.

How to get your corn off the cob, ref an NFL game, name your modern Swedish furniture, and more!

How to avoid mosquitoes, talk about hard cider and become a Mythbuster.

How to talk to strangers, care for and feed your pet bedbugs, and save money on groceries. 

Featuring the strangest listener question we’ve yet received. 

How to know how much propane is left in your tank, read 50 Shades of Grey in public, and get backstage at a concert. Plus: we hear from a listener who tells us our show was actually useful for once! 

How to get cheap cereal, pass the time on the moon, and make a great wedding toast. 

With how to advice from: Sir Patrick Stewart, US Olympian Matt Tegenkamp, New Zealand Olympian Quentin Rew, Nigerian Olympian Koko Archibong, Australian Olympian Russel Mark, Senator and Olympic Gold Medalist Bill Bradley, Canadian Curler Kristie Moore, and more. 

How to save money at an outdoor music festival, zombie-proof your car, and become a Blue Man. Plus, Governor Evan Bayh tells us how to survive the VP vetting process.

Mike and Ian are out of the office this week. But we went way back to the early episodes to find the old segments we’re actually not embarrassed of! If you’ve heard every episode, maybe skip this. But if you’re a new listener, we’ll tell you how to act around celebrities, how to run for office, how to bring a stale bagel back to life, and more. See you next week with the regular new stuff.