How To Do Everything

This week, we provide assistance to the Russian Government, and to two small children. 

Direct download: HTDE_Ep_213.mp3
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Pope Francis is visiting the US this week. We help him act like a local. 

Direct download: 150922_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:47pm EDT

How to take a photograph of your cat, talk to your dog, talk to a British person, and talk to a British dog.

Direct download: 150917_HTDE.mp3
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How much money is there on the planet? We investigate. 

Direct download: 150903_HTDE.mp3
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Ian visits a corpse flower, a stinky jungle plant which has been waiting 12 years to bloom. 

Direct download: 150828_HTDE.mp3
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We talk about the weather, but not in a boring way. We hope. 

Direct download: 150820_HTDE.mp3
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How to send secret messages, heal your wounds, and more. 

Direct download: 150814_HTDE.mp3
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How to stay cool in the summertime, and salt your food without salt. 

Direct download: 150806_htde.mp3
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This week we tell you how to choose the best name ever for your baby and investigate an old outhouse mystery.

Direct download: Baby_Names_and_Outhouses.mp3
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A listener wants to know how not to get startled. Ian and Mike either help or make it worse.

Direct download: 150715htde.mp3
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This week we tell you how to get a fancy free hat and freak out your entire town. 

Direct download: Hat_Tricks_and_Sirens.mp3
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We listen back to our interview with Sonia Sotomayor, we cure brain freeze, and the Fonz himself helps you look cool. 

Direct download: 150630htde.mp3
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Ian and Mike are out of the office. They talk about it, then they change the world, then they play some old segments. 

Direct download: 150623htde.mp3
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How to defeat your winged enemies and prove how good you are at the bongos. 

Direct download: The_Song_of_the_Scrub-Jay.mp3
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How to take beautiful photographs of your cat, and how to digest your food. Plus, we say goodbye to a beloved colleague. Not Gillian. We already said goodbye to Gillian. 

Direct download: 150610_HTDE.mp3
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How to conduct yourself around pie, and how to name your bird. 

Direct download: 150603_HTDE.mp3
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We help you relax, and help you become a fossil. Plus, some words of encouragement as you enter the final days of the exclamation point fast. 

Direct download: 150520_HTDE.mp3
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How to make sense of what your computer is saying, make an uneasy pengiun comfortable, and use up old newspapers. Plus we have a tip to get you through the last week of our Exclamation Point Fast.

Direct download: Braying_Donkeys_and_Braying_Modems.mp3
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We help endangered penguins carry on their species, and we help you make small talk with kids. Plus: our Exclamation Point Fast continues, with catastrophic results. 

Direct download: 150505_HTDE.mp3
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How to make a mountain shorter and a new use for bacon. Plus, we check in on our exclamation point fast.  

Direct download: Mountaintops_and_Nosebleeds.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:11pm EDT

How to find alternatives for the f-word, cook your chicken in the most spectacular way possible, and stop using exclamation points! That was our last one. 

Direct download: 150421_HTDE.mp3
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How to celebrate without getting everyone else sick and the fastest way to get published in the New York Times.

Direct download: High_Five.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:09pm EDT

How to make your pregnancy more exciting and the Olympics more competitive. 

Direct download: Stunt_Baby_and_Dog_Olympics.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:53pm EDT

How to wake up, celebrate your birthday properly, and shoot a free throw. This is not an April Fool's Day episode. Were we supposed to do an April Fool's Day episode? 

Direct download: 150401_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:04pm EDT

How to become Cheetah Boy, and a warning about lipstick.

Direct download: Cheetah_Allen_and_The_Kiss_of_Death.mp3
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How to get the milk you want and deserve, and the truth about asparagus. 

Direct download: 150317_HTDE.mp3
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A cow is rescued, and a nose is picked. 

Direct download: 150310_HTDE.mp3
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How to beat the winter, find love, and make the Olympic team. 

Direct download: 150303_HTDE.mp3
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We help you get unstuck and survive your walk to work.

Direct download: Kissing_With_Braces_And_Falling_Ice.mp3
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This week we help you find your seat without bothering the people around you.

Direct download: Theater_Butts.mp3
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How to drive a rally car, bluff convincingly, and look pretty when you get your picture taken. 

Direct download: 150210_HTDE.mp3
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This week, how to never miss a meeting, decide if your shark needs pants, and more. 

Direct download: 150203_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:42am EDT

How to keep your cereal from getting soggy, and we make a very interesting dip for the big sporting event with the misshapen ball that will be played on Sunday and shall not be named.  

Direct download: 150127_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:30pm EDT

How to stop that email you shouldn't have sent, and how to swim a lap. Plus: a friend in need is a friend indeed. 

Direct download: 150120_HTDE.mp3
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This week we solve an age-old spinach mystery and help out the FBI. Plus football predictions from Gillian!

Direct download: 150113_HTDE.mp3
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How to crack a case, and how to build a really, really, really big Lego model. 

Direct download: 150106_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:25pm EDT

This episode is only for cows. Humans are advised to skip this and listen to one of our many human-focused episodes instead. 

Direct download: 141224_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00pm EDT

Cows, it turns out, hate the sound of cowbells. We try and help out our bovine friends. 

Direct download: 141222_HTDE.mp3
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This week a Ninja Master gives Santa some tips on sneaking around and how to make 2015 the best year ever.

Direct download: Santa_Claus_Ninjas_and_Fruitcake_Toss_Day.mp3
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A listener is getting laser hair removal, and it hurts. A lot. Mike and Ian help her deal with the pain, with some help from the toughest people they could find. 

Direct download: 141212_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:34pm EDT

This week we tell you how to punch someone in the face without hurting anyone and get solar power the Jackie Chan way.

Direct download: The_Punch_1.mp3
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We're out of the office this week, but we've put together a few Thanksgiving-ish howtos from past shows. 

Direct download: 141126_HTDE.mp3
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How to survive family time this Thanksgiving. Plus, the moving walkway is coming to an end.  

Direct download: 141124_HTDE.mp3
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How to find all those typoos you made, and how they test out those wicking t-shirts. 

Direct download: 141114_HTDE.mp3
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We do our best to help out Josiah, who needs to beat a much stronger guy in arm wrestling. Also: nocturnal sneezing. 

Direct download: 141107_HTDE.mp3
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A special Halloween episode with lots of zombies and scary things.

Direct download: How_To_Boo_Everything.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:56am EDT

How to get service at a restaurant and a man learns to ride a bike without training wheels. 

Direct download: A_Man_and_His_Bike.mp3
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How to correct someone gracefully, and how to mow your lawn without a lawnmower. 

Direct download: 141017_HTDE.mp3
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How to get the most out of your root beer, insult people from ancient times and make peace with that sneezy guy on the train.

Direct download: Sialoquents_and_Pricklouses.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:39pm EDT

How to predict the winter, describe the taste of bubblegum, and park your blimp safely. 

Direct download: 141003_HTDE.mp3
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How to make sense of the credits at the end of a movie, doodle old school, and how companies choose the names for people in their ads. 

Direct download: 140926_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:24pm EDT

How to freshen up with gin and we solve a stinky mystery.

Direct download: Gin_and_Garbage.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:27pm EDT

How to dress your Dreadnaughtus; avoid ATM fees and taste somebody's name. 

Direct download: Dinosaur_Shirts_ATM_Fees_and_the_Flavor_of_Names.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:11pm EDT

Mike and Ian help you with a common pet problem. Also, they've missed you, by the way. 

Direct download: 140906_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:12pm EDT

Ian takes a visit to the National Ice Core Lab in Colorado, where they store all those thousand-year-old ice cores they pull out of Antarctica. 

Direct download: 140813_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:19pm EDT

How not to get lost in the wild. A quick tip from our summer break.

Direct download: How_To_Do_Everything_Summer_Vacation_Postcard_1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:40pm EDT

We're on the road this week, so just a short show for you. But we will tell you the strange, tragic story of The Noid, the old Domino's Pizza mascot from the 80s. 

Direct download: 140801_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:53am EDT

This week we tell you how to turn beach trip into a treasure hunt and how to snack on crickets.

Direct download: Shipwrecked_Legos_and_Eating_Crickets.mp3
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How to travel with your baby, and what to do when you've really, really got to go. 

Direct download: 140719_HTDE.mp3
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Life inside a scoreboard and how to find the best seat on your next flight. 

Direct download: Scoreboards_Scanners_and_Southwest.mp3
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How to get your very own bottled water past a TSA checkpoint, defend your international tennis tournament from varmints, and protect the President. 

Direct download: Water_The_Hawk_and_24.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:13pm EDT

How to make sense of a buffet, jump out of a plane, and swim like a manatee. 

Direct download: 140628_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:06pm EDT

We tell you the worst way to clean your chimney, how to take moment and the one thing you should be scared of this week.

Direct download: Moments_Chimney_Sweeps_and_Grasshoppers.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:56pm EDT

How to prepare for the World Cup, and how to tell your parents you're getting married. Plus: the moon, the tides, and a man who wasn't entirely happy with a recent episode of "Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me."

Direct download: 140610_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:10pm EDT

How to have less fun at the beach, and how to enjoy graham crackers. 

Direct download: 140531_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:07pm EDT

How to introduce yourself, get rid of that whale on the beach, plus the one thing you should be afraid of this week.

Direct download: Dr._Down_Whales_and_What_To_Be_Afraid_of_This_Week.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:19pm EDT

The inside story on the greatest burp ever burped, how wild animals celebrate Cinco de Mayo, and more. 

Direct download: 140516_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:10pm EDT

Breaking Bad's Vince Gilligan determines exactly how long people need to wait before talking about spoilers, Mary Roach helps a listener with a fart-related question, and more.

Direct download: 140509_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:27pm EDT

Dinosaur Baths and Hot Enchiladas

This week we tell you how to bathe your T.rex and eat your lunch without burning yourself.

Direct download: Dinosaur_Baths_and_Hot_Enchiladas.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:05pm EDT

How to get rid of those leftover Marshmallow Peeps, make good use of your pet dolphin, and play video games forever. 

Direct download: 140425_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:04pm EDT

This week we tell you how to make a rat laugh, throw a better breaking ball and start a fire with snacks.

Direct download: Mr._Hand_Curveballs_and_Flaming_Doritos.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:43pm EDT

How to avoid a bad bee sting, get back at bad Facebook posters, and look cool when you're carrying a Trapper Keeper. 

Direct download: 140411_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:49pm EDT

Frozen, Floods and Chips

How to open a bag of chips, save all the animals and go up to bat. Plus, Jeff Garlin tells us how to pick the perfect Christmas tree.

Direct download: Frozen_Floods_and_Potato_Chips.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:37pm EDT

This week we tell you how to fool zombies, how to sneeze in the Daytona 500 and we find another reason to love fried shrimp.

Direct download: Driving_and_Sneezing_and_Zombie_Cologne.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:14pm EDT

How to save money on clothes without giving up anything but your dignity, minimize the number of fights during Monopoly, and get the excellent restaurant service you don't deserve. 

Direct download: 140321_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:54pm EDT

How to get rid of that perfume you never wear, properly call someone a nimrod, and celebrate St.Patrick's Day Chicago style. 

Direct download: 140315_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:50pm EDT

How to properly make use of your cat, and how to make it in the NHL. Plus special guest meteorologist Paula Poundstone gives us our first ever weather report. 

Direct download: Weather_Cats_and_Hockey_2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:14pm EDT


We remember Harold Ramis by learning how the movie Groundhog Day was almost very different, John Lithgow tells us how to play it cool at the Oscars, and we help a listener find love at the gym

Direct download: Groundhog_Day_Oscars_and_Squat_Thrusts.mp3
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This week we learn how to beat a spelling bee, how to talk to bees and a new use for cement.

Direct download: Bees_Bees_and_Cans.mp3
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How to feel better about this freezing winter, and how to prevent a hijacking. Plus, something to think about when you're smashed between two people in puffy coats on the subway. 

And if you're playing along at home: it's spelled Verkhoyansk. 

Direct download: 140213_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:21am EDT

This week we tell you how to move like a glacier, write a cartoon musical and lose friends. 

Direct download: Tiny_Catapults_The_Tug_of_War_and_Seth__The_Human_Glacier.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:06pm EDT

This week we tell you how to keep your beer from freezing, keep your hands warm at the South Pole and how to talk about the Super Bowl without saying Super Bowl.

Direct download: Arm_PIts_Bunny_Boots_and_Beer_Slushies.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:05pm EDT

How to deal with an embarrassing name, and how to spy like a lady. Plus, a revelation that may change breakfast forever. 

Direct download: 140125_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:32pm EDT

This week we tell you how to pour pulled cod like a pad kid, put out a fire like a frat boy and we help A-Rod figure out what to do this summer. 

Direct download: Demons_Tongues_and_A-Rod.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:51pm EDT

How to take the spark out of your romance, survive the deep freeze, and growl like a radio bear.

Direct download: 140110_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:43pm EDT

The great Sir Patrick Stewart, in perhaps the role of his life, helps a listener answer a question about cows. 

Direct download: 131227_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:58am EDT

How to get the best possible tip when you're waiting tables, how to hug properly, and Peter Sagal joins us for an Egg Nog taste test. 

Direct download: 131220_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:16pm EDT

How to get an autograph, how to have a baby (but not how to make a baby), and a visit from pro wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin. Plus: we talk to a couple winners of our Thanksgiving Travel Photo Contest!

Direct download: 131214_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:09pm EDT

This week we tell where Big Bird comes from, how new colors get their names, plus the Full Beaver Moon.

Direct download: Fancy_Feathers_and_The_Full_Beaver_Moon.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:20pm EDT

A game to make horrible holiday travel slightly less horrible, political strategist David Axelrod helps you dodge those awkward Thanksgiving dinner conversations, and more. 

Direct download: Your_Thanksgiving_Survival_Kit.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:30pm EDT

This week an astronaut tells you how to have a long distance relationship, how to press your pants when taking a nap and how to spoon.

Direct download: Love_in_Outer_Space_Pressed_Pants_and_The_Humping_Dog_1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:22pm EDT

How to ship a package in a way that will lessen the likelihood it gets destroyed, score an eight pointer when you’re playing basketball, and measure the wind. Plus: wordsearch winners!  

Direct download: HTDE_131115.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:43pm EDT

How to get free coasters, curse across the world and avoid offending people with your word search. Plus, one last Toilet of the Week.

Direct download: Coasters_Word_Searches_and_Swearing.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:03pm EDT

How to tell your rock formations apart, introduce yourself to the wonderful world of Star Trek, and do a body good. Plus: a portable Toilet of the Week! 

Direct download: HTDE_131101.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:24pm EDT

Hal Needham, our favorite stuntman, died Friday at 82. He did stunts in more than 300 films, directed "Smokey and the Bandit" and "The Cannonball Run," won an Honorary Oscar last year, got a lot of speeding tickets, and broke a lot of bones. He was a regular guest on our show, and here we listen back to a few of our favorite moments with him. 

Direct download: HTDE_131028.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:50pm EDT

How to survive the food at a bar mitzvah, get out of jail and rack up billions in late fees. Plus, a spooky toilet of the week.

Direct download: HTDE_131023.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00pm EDT

How to protect your valuables, discover a new species, and order water at a restaurant without looking like an idiot. Plus: an international Toilet of the Week! 

Direct download: 131011_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:37pm EDT

How to keep your dog safe on roadtrips, fight off a lemur and a trip to the Yukon.

Direct download: HTDE_131004.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00pm EDT

How to stop a swarm of bees from ruining your game and a totally legal way to make blue crystal meth.*

*not actually crystal meth, but it is blue

Direct download: HTDE_130927.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00pm EDT

Washington Post reporter Ian Shapira talks about covering the Navy Yard shooting. And: now that the new iPhone has a fingerprint scanner, you don't have to enter in your password anymore, which saves you almost half a second. We'll tell you a few ways to spend that extra time. 

Direct download: 130920_HTDE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:18pm EDT